Divorces are rarely pleasant, but many times, they can be accomplished in an amicable way. What happens, though, when divorce law gets messy? Unfortunately, “messy” divorces do occur. Many times, they have to do with custody battles or financial disagreement. Here are some ways that you might end up with a messy divorce, as well as some tips on dealing with the issues as well as you can.
One or Both of You Is Very Hurt
If there was infidelity, abuse, or some other clear deal-breaker, the spouse who was wronged probably feels extremely hurt. On the other hand, if one person is pushing for the divorce while the other wanted to continue going to counseling or working on the relationship, the one who wanted to stay together might have a lot of hard feelings.
Lots of emotional strife can cause or exacerbate a messy divorce. One person might not want to cooperate with the divorce or they might be feeling very vindictive and willing to do just about anything to hurt their soon-to-be ex. Staying as calm as you can will reduce the amount of fire in your divorce law case. If you are the wronged party, you might have to simply resolve to stay cool-headed. If your spouse is the one who feels the angriest, keeping cool yourself will help you represent your own interests to the best of your ability under divorce law.
Dividing the Finances Is Harder Than You Thought
If one spouse stayed home with the children while the other went to work or if only one spouse has a retirement account, dividing up the financial assets might be a lot more difficult than you’d anticipated. In addition, taxes are another conundrum; you might need to file jointly after the divorce, which can create more hard feelings. Finally, if either of you is not honest in disclosing your finances during the divorce process, this muddies the divorce law water even more.
All you can do is be honest and work within the limits of the divorce law to best represent your financial interests. Do be aware that if you worked to support the family while your spouse stayed home to raise children or to keep the house, you might need to pay alimony. Your legal resource group can direct you on how to approach the court about working out a fair plan.
Child Custody Divorce Law When You Can’t Agree
One of the most emotional parts of divorce law is that concerning child custody. Gone are the days when the courts automatically sent the children to live with their mother. Usually, divorced couples have joint custody, with both of them sharing in the raising and care of the kids. (Do keep in mind that joint custody does not mean that each parent will have the children exactly 50 percent of the time.)
Try to work with your ex on a parenting plan. This is a document that will spell out who will have the child custody rights when. It might be possible that you can agree on some points, making it easier for the court to settle the rest. Keep in mind that you cannot purposely alienate the children from their other parent under divorce law; work within the confines of the law and try to keep your communication with the children positive when it comes to this touchy topic.
You Are Fighting Over the Marital Property
If you have accumulated a lot of property over the course of your marriage, it’s natural that you might be fighting over some of it under divorce law. It might be simple to say that one will take the living room set and the other will take the family room furniture, but some items are not as easily divided. This is another case where compromise is going to be key and divorce law may come into play. Start with what you can agree on and go from there.
Letting big or small issues turn your divorce into a messy legal situation is a common situation. Do your best to keep your divorce as amicable as possible. This is particularly important when children are involved, but it’s also important for couples without children; working together through one last hurdle as a separating couple will save you both time and money and can minimize hurt feelings. Talk to a legal resource group for divorce help and more tips on how to keep your divorce as “clean” as possible while still representing yourself and pushing for a fair settlement under divorce law.